Horror Movie Review #35: Feed

**I will be including reels beginning with this one. Hope you guys like it.

FEED
Directed By: Brett Leonard (The Lawnmower Man)
Year Released: 2006
Running Time: 101 minutes
Language: English
Horror Type: Perversions.
Sex? - Only for Chubby Chasers.
Gore? - Not for Chubby Chasers.

The first good scene, which is within five minutes of the opening credits, shows this moderately good looking hunk with several bags of fast food in hand. He then strips naked, cute-butt naked, and then approaches this very very large woman that's naked in bed, her weight so overpowering that she cannot help herself up. He asks her to "say it, say it," to which she obliges with the words "feed me."

Feed is about this guy who force feeds his women to death. The point behind all this feeding is to grow their women to insane weights until they can no longer help themselves even for the simplest tasks. It consummates into this absolute dependency wherein the giver (the person doing the feeding) gains total control over the feeder (the person doing the eating), and it mutates to such helpless extents wherein the feeder will not survive without the giver. It's the ultimate in submissive behavior.

Deidre, the feeder in this movie, grows to a morbidly obese weight of 602lbs, and then yells "I did it!" She precedes the late feeder Lucy, who died at 670lbs., under the supervision of the same giver. It gets better though. What seems like a very harmless however disgusting (I say it like I mean it, I'm size two) fetish takes on very perverted dimensions. He broadcasts his fat women on the internet, and he takes bets on when his feeders will die.

I give it a 4/5.

Why You Should Read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

**This is how I won me a book in Jessica Zafra's blog. She held this contest one time, and she asked her readers to recommend a book. I posted a comment, this comment, and I won me a book in consequence. Never won me a book before, sure beats a punch in the face. I so rock. By the way,I used Momelia for my pen name. To give it that mostly gay touch.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(Douglas Adams, 1979)

The Earth gets demolished to make way for a hyperspatial bypass. A highway of sorts, if you must. An Earthman, Arthur Dent, survives with the help of a long time friend, Ford Prefect, who turns out to be an alien with a very helpful knack for hitching rides in spaceships.

1. It's divided into very brief chapters for easy reading. There's something new to imagine every five to ten pages or so to keep you from getting bored.

2. The author, Doug Adams, employs this clever wordplay that brings the inter-galactic hitchhiking to life and tries to make you grin in the process. There's the Infinite Improbability Drive (which fuels the fantastic starship Heart of Gold run), the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (the alcoholic drink of choice), and the Galactic Institute's Prize for Extreme Cleverness (verbatim).

3. You will love Marvin the Paranoid Android. He's this charming little robot with the brain the size of a planet, and he's always depressed. I like him so much, I got me some quotes:

Do you want me to sit in the corner and rust, or just fall apart where I'm standing?

Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water?

Why stop now just when I'm hating it? Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.

4. If you should happen to travel the galaxy and back, then bring a towel. I know it doesn't make sense, but it perfectly complements the next item.

5. This book provides The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. And that answer is 42. Yes, as in what's six times seven. Unhinged, isn't it? But it gets better.

6. See, the author's crazy. Nope, not the institutionalized kind of crazy (that's de Maupassant, love him), but he's the laugh out loud kind of crazy that gets people invited to parties. His book's a riot in consequence. And it's divided into very brief chapters for easy reading.

7. It's got a movie adaptation. Which meant it had a profitable readership. Which meant it was good enough to buy. Still is, but in between the movie ticket and a paperback copy, I'd go with the book. On account of the movie sucked a nut.

I Wish They Had Spontaneous AIDS

**It's a sad, sad day. Wish goes out to people responsible, that and a big bad Fuku.

What happened last November 23 was most unspeakable. Fifty seven people, mostly media people, were massacred in what can be the worst case of election-related violence in this here hole-in-the-wall third world. Fifty seven! Seriously, would anyone have enough energy yet left to imagine such an atrocity? I am very generous with my adjectives and adverbs and what have you, but I can't just put words together to paint my disgust.

I know its an unparalleled atrocity, at least here in this hole that receives my taxes, and my condolences reach out to everybody who lost a limb in this aftermath. That's a figure of speech, the limbs, because I believe that losing a loved one is losing a limb. But what gets me the most is how the media people fared, them courageous few who died in the name of honest journalism. What a valiant loss. We can use more people like them; why weren't there any gossip columnists in that convoy? We could do with maybe three of their kind, three total. At most.

I have this feeling that in spite of its massively talented pool of writers, Philippine Journalism has never had such an unprecedented loss for words. That wasn't meant to be offensive. I mean, who wouldn't be silenced in the face of such inhuman hell raising?

How to Be Rude: Burgers

**Let's go on ahead and exercise that inner jerk now shall we?

Order a VERY big meal, like a quarter pounder meal with twister fries, upsized, some chicken nuggets and a strawberry float. Have it for dine in, and then look for a very large person preferably eating alone. An obese woman is ideal; men just don't care about their fat asses or screaming waistlines as much as women do. Also, what she's eating counts: if she's indulging herself on a meal that's just as killer as what you're having, then forget it. Look for a large person who's eating a small meal, maybe a sprite and some fries no ketchup. Sit next to her, preferably opposite her so you can watch her... squirm. I suspect this to be the natural reaction when you're killing yourself on a diet plan while there are people who don't have no need for such narcissistic bullshit however healthy.

It's not my fault that I have a metabolism that creates sonic booms - so fast it breaks the sound barrier. It's a gift. It's not a super power meant to save the cheerleader, and then the world in consequence. Its not stopping time or walking through walls, and you can't imagine how such a blessing can be put to good use, so you might as well try to have fun with it. Which is what I'm doing. Now, it's important that this obese lady you're sharing a seat with knows what you are eating. Discretely look out for some semblance of acknowledgment, like an occasional glance from her at what's on your table. Feng shui counts, so make sure that your meal's well spread out to attract attention. Red sells, so you might want to have your nuggets, fries, and the strawberry float closest to her. Wait for her to steal a glance or two, and then go for the kill.

Eating, on its own, doesn't heighten the effect we're after. You will need to throw in as much theatrics as you can manage as you are indulging yourself in your heart attack lunch. Pick up your quarterpounder in one hand, hold it parallel to your face, and then slowly unwrap this meaty killer burger. Enjoy a few bites, love it!, before paying attention to your fries or nuggets, whichever you prefer. But the trick here is the ketchup. Take your half eaten quarterpounder down as you reach for a packet of ketchup. You know where to put the burger down (as visible as possible). And then, with the production value of a slow motion scene, proceed to bite that packet open, waay open such that it takes you about a few seconds to help yourself. However you garnish your burger is totally up to you, but we're after that great big pause.

Now, no matter what happens, try not to look at the subject of your torture. That totally defeats the discretion we're after. And that's just outwardly rude to begin with.

Pictures from here and here.